Noticing inhuman changes
by animeloverhomura
Summary: In the main timeline, Sayaka Miki learns that she is not human anymore and takes it hard. What could have happened as she was learning that in a different timeline. (A different timeline so the order is a little messed up.) This is going to be a series of one shot's on things I would like to have happened or might have been part of the original but weren't shown.
1. Chapter 1

Hi! This is another Madoka Magica fanfiction. These don't seem to be as popular but I like writing them so I'm going to keep making them. This one is about Sayaka. Some people don't like Sayaka because they think she turned into a witch for a stupid reason, but someone brought up the fact that her story is a bit like the story of rape victims. Not feeling like their bodies should be touched by anyone anymore. I felt that something like what I'm going to write would have helped with this though. I'm also going to mess up the sequence of events just for dramatic effect. This might be what happened in a different timeline.

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Sayaka Miki, justice defending magical girl, stood in her room in silence. What had she just told her friend? It was all a blur now. How could she have said something like, "You could do anything but you won't. You just sit there because it's ok if _I'm_ the one suffering. Don't act like you care, it's obvious you don't." As she was fighting, she had just blocked out the pain. In a second all of the pain that was pouring over her just vanished.

Walking into her kitchen, she picked up a knife from the cabinet and lifted her shirt up. The dark kitchen only heightened the mood as she started trembling, almost setting the knife down but not quite doing that.

*Stab*

Nothing. Just the slight sound of flesh being cut then nothing. No pain, no scream, no tears, just the slight sound and the sight of a butcher knife in her stomach. Reaching down, she tentatively pulled the knife out, not noticing that black was seeping from her soul gem and covering her body.

"Heh… god I just don't feel anything." Then, in a burst of rage and energy she stabbed herself. Again and again. If she just kept doing it then maybe she would be able to feel something. *slice, slice, slice.* Nothing.

"Gah!" One final stab was all it took for her to realize that it was pointless, she would not feel pain in her current body. She let the knife fall to the floor as she healed herself and fixed her shirt.

*crash* the knife collided with the floor.

"I do hope you realize that it is an enormous waste of energy to stab yourself then heal it. If you want to test your healing abilities there are easier ways to accomplish that."

"Kyubey." Sayaka said as she leaned her head to make eye contact with the creature, not moving her body at all. "What do you want."

"I would just like to warn you that it can be dangerous to fight like that. If you don't pay attention to the injuries you receive you may miss an attack to your soul gem and die."

Sayaka turned her head back to the direction her body was facing. "Go away."

"But-"

"Leave!" Kyubey stood up and walked to the windowsill.

"You should be careful though. You might attract attention if you let anyone realize that you can't feel pain." He spoke before disappearing into the darkness.

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"Well then, Sayaka, want to go shopping?" Hitomi asked during a call. Sayaka had not come to school, so she called her. Sayaka assured Hitomi that she was fine now, just not feeling too well that morning.

"Sure!" Sayaka responded with a chirp, hoping to get her mind off everything that had been going on.

"I'll be waiting for you outside, call you when I'm there."

"Ok."

After receiving a call, Sayaka bounced out of her house and met up with Hitomi. Hitomi, wearing a button down fleece jacket, looked at Sayaka's off shoulder top and short skirt.

"Are you sure you should be wearing that? It's almost freezing temperature out here." Hitomi asked concerned for her friend despite the other's assurances that she was fine.

"It is? Oh, I mean yeah, it is. Sorry, I was rushing, just give me a minute to change, ok?" Sayaka said as she ran inside. Once out of sight she clenched her fist and brought her other palm up to look at it. 'I can't feel different temperatures.'

Now that they had settled that, the two girls headed off to the mall. They explored through different outfits before hitomi told Sayaka that she wanted to talk about something at one of the cafe tables.

"So, what did you want to talk about?"  
"I want to talk about love."


	2. Chapter 2

_This is by no means one of my more popular fics but I really like writing it. The next chapter probably won't come out soon-if ever, but we'll see what happens. Also Homura might be seen as OOC but we've never seen her in the situation I'm going to show so I have no idea how she'd act. This is from the POV of me as a watcher in my story._

Homura wasn't _trying_ to trick them all.

Honest.

It would make her no different from the thing that had completely ruined _her_ life… or was going to…

Time travel is confusing.

Still, the fact remained that her intention was never to trick or manipulate her friends, it had just turned out like that during this specific timeline. On second thought, it might have been a bit more intentional on her part than I'm making it sound.

I'll start from the beginning. So, as we all know Homura has gone back in time over and over again, constantly repeating the same month to save her friend. At this point she's somewhere in the 70's and has long since stopped braiding her hair.

This timeline would be different, she thought. She had to think that every time or she would fall into despair and come to terms with the fact that she was probably never going to be able to save Madoka. Each time she tried to be a little different. She tried something new.

This time she acted worthy of Mami Tomoe and Sayaka Miki's usual perception of her as an evil mastermind who wanted to control their lives. She had lied to her friends. Said that she was from a nearby town that had just been hit by a Walpurgis night and knew it would be coming to the town soon. The biggest problem with that idea was that the other girls would be enthusiastic to get someone as powerful as Madoka to contract if a powerful witch was coming so she had to lie even more.

'You can't do that,' she said. 'If someone as powerful as her becomes a magical girl now then it will just cause the witch to come faster.' It was true enough that the incubators couldn't deny it… the witch was coming and there was a slight chance a strong amount of magic suddenly appearing would cause the witch to come faster. They didn't mind as long as they got Madoka to contract after the witch was beaten-not that it stopped them from trying to get her to contract before.

Still, if she had Mami Tomoe, Sayaka Miki and Sakura Kyoko's full support then there was a chance she would be able to beat the witch without Madoka.

I think part of the reason Homura did this was because now she was having more fun than in countless previous timelines. She was able to smile and be friends with Madoka, support Sayaka contracting and pretend like she didn't know that she was giving the girl a surefire death sentence.

Still, she was able to become close friends with Madoka in hours- made easier by the fact that Homura already knew most of what there was to know about the girl. Sayaka Miki was able to avoid falling into despair due to Homura's manipulation disguised as sympathy… not knowing about their souls or where witches came from probably helped.

Then the night of the witches came to town. The witch was the same, though fighting it was different then usual. Sayaka Miki rarely survived long enough to make it to the battle, and it was usually hard to get Mami Tomoe to work together with Sakura Kyoko due to their vastly different ideologies.

However, due to her ridiculous knowledge of each girl Homura was able to make them work together during the fight.

Sayaka died first. Not a surprise, she was the least talented and had much less experience than the other three Magical Girls. Next, Mami died while saving the shelter. Losing half of their team was more of a challenge but to Homura as long as Madoka survived the other deaths didn't matter.

It was only her and Kyoko left, with Madoka tucked safely away in the shelter with her family. Sparing a glance Homura checked on how her last remaining teammate was doing… not well.

Kyoko and Sayaka had gotten closer than usual this timeline due in large to Homura being able to work them through most of their spats. The other girl's death had left a big impact on the crimson haired magical girl- the continuous fight against a near unbeatable opponent did little to help.

Suddenly, Kyoko moved in front of Homura, giving the other girl a familiar smirk with the one tooth sticking out like always.

'Don't worry,' the girl had said. 'I'm not going to let this thing get away. Guess I might as well go out like Sayaka, a hero until death.'

Homura's eyes had widened. I think it makes sense for her to only ever show emotion to Kyoko's death- she was almost always closest to her. Mami Tomoe and Sayaka Miki's pointless sense of justice commonly interfered with her goal while Kyoko Sakura's commonly allowed them to work together.

So despite her decision to only think about Madoka's safety Homura always found herself trying to keep the girl alive… and all the same, always failing.

Maybe she should be used to it by now but it seemed the futile hope she of a happy life had would continue to destroy her.

Homura could only watch as her other friend let down her hair and summoned a giant spear that she usually used to commit suicide with Sayaka. Forming chains to block Homura and the city off from the impending destruction Homura saw Kyoko give her one last radiant smile and die.

The explosion was blinding.

'True heros always die with a smile on their faces,' hadn't Sayaka said that once.

Homura understood what she meant now.

Despite everything, the deaths, the lives lost, Homura started to laugh.

It was over! It was finally over! They had beaten the witch. What did it matter that three of her four friends had died in the process- what did it matter that the city was completely destroyed- what did it matter that she was probably becoming more insane by the second?

Absolutely nothing. She was free of the curse.

She could now die.

I suppose the idea must have been very tempting to her. She had lived for years with the idea that she couldn't die until her goal was completed. She had lived for years trapped in an eternal cycle of pain and despair and trying trying always trying to save her and always failing.

And now she was free. She could escape the memories and hardships and the torn up city and just be free.

It would be like going to sleep and never waking up.

It sounded relaxing.

'True heros always die with a smile on their face, huh Sayaka? I'm no hero, but dying like that certainly sounds fun.' With that final thought and one last smile she formed her soul gem into it's larger shape and reached into her shield.

It was nostalgic to her, reminding her greatly of having to do this to Madoka more than once as she pulled out her gun. It would finally be over.

*BANG*

Homura was right, it was just like falling asleep forever…

"Homura-chan!" One blink, two. Homura remembered killing herself- it was a bit hard to forget something like that- so was she in heaven now? She heard Madoka's voice calling out to her, why?

Completely opening her eyes she saw Madoka in her magical girl outfit.

"What's…Madoka? Why are you here?"

The girl gave a heartwarming smile in return. "Walpurgis night was killed so it was fine for me!"

Homura sent the girl a confused look as she sat up and started becoming more and more conscious, the sun momentarily blinding her.

"What are you talking about?" She asked as she rubbed some of the sleep from her eye. She hadn't been able to sleep well in ages without nightmares but now she felt like she had been completely and totally relaxed.

'You killed the witch so it was fine for me to become a magical girl.'

The world stopped. The sun disappearing and being replaced with a chilly breeze. _What?_

"You-what are you-" I saw as Homura took a moment to think of a question that would get her the answers she wanted instead of just pointless words. "What did you wish for?"

'Please let it not be what I think it is.'

'I brought you back to life, Homura-chan!'

It was.

"Why, I made it clear that you weren't supposed to become one didn't I?!" Homura's anger quickly overcame her shock as she grabbed Madoka's shoulders and started to shake them. "Why would you sacrifice yourself you me?!"

'You're my friend Homura-chan. You came all the way to the next town this witch was going to hit to save us, I couldn't just let you die!''

No, I came to this town and told you about it to save you. Not the town or anyone else, _you_. You should have just let me die, why would you do this?

Looking up Homura saw Madoka's cheerful expression take on a concerned look. She vaguely heard the other girl who she was supposed to be protecting ask if she was okay, her words sounding more like echo's than sentences.

'Don't worry about it Homura-chan. We'll be working together so I'm sure I won't be in danger.' A hand was brought to Homura's shoulder in a way that was meant to be reassuring. 'As long as we're together we'll be able to protect everyone-'

Homura slapped the hand on her shoulder away.

'Homura-chan?'

The shield that was on her wrist spun and the world disappeared to the familiar gray she was all too used to. It meant that she had failed again.

Homura spun on her heel and walked. It was too dangerous to be close to Madoka, to give herself that kind of happiness. All she should focus on was keeping Madoka alive. Madoka should never be close enough to her to even consider sacrificing herself for the other girl, Madoka would have to hate her.

A mask of emotionless formed over her face with slightly more effort than usual but was accompanied by resolve to never let it shatter.

She would save Madoka.

Even if the only way to do that was to make the other girls hate her.


End file.
